Sunday, June 29, 2008
Felt Betrayed and Dissapointed.
After all that i have done , This is what i get in return.
2:55 AM
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Up till today i will say i cant really understand myself, What my heart really really wants.
I am always in that 3min of impulse thing all the time, but after i sleep and wake up in the morning, i will start to wonder about what i want again. And everything the decision is different.
Sometimes i really wonder if i should give up playing game... and do something that is more practical and useful.. but i know i cant... The course i am studying now.. I wanted animation so that i can make games animation... movie animation.. Everything i am doing and studying for is like for games.
So if lets say i wanna stop gaming. I dont know what am i studying this course for..
looking at newspaper .. and news... saying how secondary sch students can do animation as well, makes me kinda scared. Everyone can do animation then what am i studying it for lol.
9:18 PM
Monday, June 23, 2008
Blog blog blog blog blog . Ok went to DD chalet! it was quite fun to know more people , even if there is a age gap between us... WoW is just the express way that break all kind of gaps. was kinda disppointed with the nite time.. caused not many people stayed. Thanks for all the food and organizing !
Went to find my supervisor regarding my project yesterday... ok today he told me shit loads of more stuff.. but omg... i just simply dont know how to do or start the project. He himself also know its difficult... sigh.. i just hope i can produce something out... i dont wanna fail my FYP.
Ok ... about pillar building... Currently the process from like 20% droped to 0%. And i am giving up already..i have given enough time... i realise how sucessful a pillar can be built depends on how we look like.. and i know how i look like infront of a mirrior, i am not BHB.
Blogs full of photos are more Entertaining huh .... my blog got no photo one. lol i lazy upload.
i think i got insomnia .... i cant sleep at night... and its really killing me to wake up so early everyday..
Its time to start, I need something that i got to work for...i need more determination. Lets cut 10kg ! or wait ... 15kg ! ..
Need some bitch to scold me right in the face your are fat. Then i will eat fruits for all the three meals.
Sorry for the jumpy Post rofl(Rolling on floor laughing) ..... i simply write what came to my mind.
6:35 PM
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Lifes been the same for me....... I dont know why but i kinda always feel like i am like a little child, looking for people to take care of me. And i always cant find any sense of sastisfaction from anything i have done.
My attatchment was kinda bad.
My FYP is worst now i think.
Guess my self expectation is too high.
My family never give me any sense of belonging. But instead i can feel it from my friends.
I let my emotion run wild easily, any movie or show or the slightest sad thing i feel can make my tears fall like leaking pipe.
Recently my brain is filled with multiple feelings.. and when they are all happening at the same time, it just makes me feel that i am going mad.
Happy, Anger, Fustration, Tired , Desperate.
These 5 feelings i got now is making my head spinning in a vortex.
I always feel that i did something bad in my previous life... thats why people around me always seems to have a better life than me.. Sometimes i just dislike my father , but i keep reminding myself no matter what he is still my father.
Family, Friends, Love.
I devote alot of my time to other people.. leaving very little time for myself.. even in game...
I feel happy to help people, I feel happy to see someone else becoming happy because of some sacrifice i made.
But as times goes by .. The amount of sacrifice is backfiring at me. But i cant stop doing it... its just something in me. Being too good to others is a flaw? i am always giving out like 100% , but receieving like 10% .
Starting to feel tired of life... Are we just borned to Eat, Sleep, Work and die?
i always hear people saying how Africa people is always not having enough food.. how people in blah blah country is picking rubbish for money... We maybe have more than enough of these.. but at the expense of getting brain fucked everyday.
Cant stop feeling so Emoish now, I just have so much things in my heart untold. I feel like naruto at times. Having good friends around me, supporting me... But i need a real pillar behind me.
But the pillar is not appearing. I am building one now, But its falling back to ground level.
Love this blog skin alot, totally describe me..
Always being cheerful.
Dont worry about me... i have been living with this feeling about Around 7 years already.
Emoing.
7:57 PM
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
HI, lol sorry didnt blog about my concert, it was real good... LOL ok forgot what i wanna say already, for mroe info please visit Kit Ying BLog ! she got all the photo of the things there !
time to rant about my throat ! i ahve been coughing for like straight 10 days already... its not that serious.. but my throat always feel itchy and i just wanna cough. partly it didnt recover cause i continued to drink cold drinks... eat chicken.. LOL...
Life sarks, everything still have to go on... i want my holidays to come soon man.. my druid is level 42 ! needa reach 70 asap man.. but my time in sch isant allowing me to do it...i wanna go for raids! i wanna start my alt .. rofl .. i wanna play end game content...
FYP sarks real bad... Freaking ying Zheng got the nice room cum project.. lol we got shit projects and shit rooms .....i got a shitty Supervisor as well... leave me alone one cao... write me three words and ask me to be alone for so long.. i wanna do my projects one ...
7:09 PM
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Woo its like the first blog i made after my attatchment. lol ..i am having FYP now....and i am waking up earlier than my attatchment...slacking whole day long. The best thing right now for FYP is i got 2 female dog (Supervisors of the room) , watching us in the room ... they didint provoke me, but i just dont like the way they look at me. Early in the morning cant be late..or they send mail to my in charge... which is dam fucked.. other people song song come late leave early... i cant .. ARGH.......
Life's been hard for me lately, Upcoming performance is kinda rushing and we are not really prepared for the concert... Its so last min... Morning sch, At nite band...
I really need my holidays soon... althought most prob i will be getting job by then..
MY freaking nose is killing my throat as well... its feeling so sore that it is affecting my throat..
Current feeling is very sickly lol ... i am very sure i will have a fever after my concert...
Oh and yea WY i just saw your blog, lol i just accompany you eat dinner only.. summore you come near my house... dont worry about it yea.. Luckily i met you too ^.^
Finally i am able to watch naruto again lol WY just gave me a webby ! kinda excited about it yesterday and watched naruto instead of training wow.. Lol
WoW currently at level 36 for ally.... its really really slow i would say... but i guess i cant blame it since i am really busy these past 2 weeks.... Really excited about getting to level 70 as well... looking at the amount of request for people for kara and raids makes me motivated.. Guild is full of SG people as well...
Sorry yun... i cant get you into the guild right now ... Maybe you can try registering on the forum... but i promise to get you in if i can.. right now i dont know them much... and they are pretty strict about recruiting people ..
Didnt sleep well the entire nite... flipping in bed thinking about my concert stuff and my nose is so uncomfortable.. came to sch this morning only with like 2 hours of sleep?
my handphone alarm woke me up when i felt that i just slept for 30mins... look at the time and i know i cant drag any longer or the dogs in my classroom will send letter again... FEELING REALLY IS DAM SICK NOW !!!!, Not in the mood to eat any nice stuff... and i feel like calling anyone that i am not happy with dog.... lol.. I am jumping topic like wth man.. just simply typing what i am thinking right now... totally no link at all.. lol ... continue next time.....
I am thinking about too much stuff... my brain is overloaded now.. dont know why am i typing all these here , no body seems to read my blog anyway ! T.T
Found this somewhere.. i am bored so i can do it... hehe
1. When will the Sun not shine and when will the World end?
Answer: When i die i cant see them anymore..
2.What you want the most now
Answer: Someone who i can hug and love. But i dont think its possible
3. Do you believe in ur best friends?
Answer: Yes.
4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
Answer: Yeah. When i feel i am being taken for granted
5. When do you wish to die?
Answer: Quite neutral about it. I am mentally prepared to die anytime
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Answer: Depends on how big the rain is..
7. What impossible things u would wish to do?
Answer: Having super powers, Bend time.. Heal.. Teleport.. Invisiblilty..
8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Answer: Haven seen one before.. only saw how materialise a person can be...
9. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to comit suicide?
Answer: Nope.
10. What feeling do you love most?
Answer: Appreciated by people.
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Answer: Play game with me ! , Cheerful and huggable.
12. What feeling do you hate the most?
Answer: Unappreciated and disliked by someone
13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Answer: Yes..
14. Is there anything you're looking forward to in the next few weeks?
Answer: BBQ... And leveling my alliance toon !
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Answer: Friendship, Money
16. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
Answer: Someone whom i haven met? Hope to see "Someone" appearing in my life soon.
17. Do you find life meaningless?
Answer: Yes, Work Play Eat Sleep die.... This is how i define life, Sometimes i just hope that my mother abort me back then when my father wanted to.
18. Who do you love the most?
Answer: Friends and family
19. What's your latest injury?
Answer: Blueblack on the leg cause of the frekin big drum i carry for performance =.=
20. Who did I chat with just now ?
Answer: My classmate!
21.How retarded can you get?
Answer: You can never imagine how retarded i can get.
7:50 PM
