Almost half a years ago since i last blogged lol.... Times pass really fast...
In 2 weeks time i am heading into army, i dont know how it will turn out to be.. but i am certainly looking forward to it. Tekkong lol.. the "dirty" place everyone is talking about. Hope its gonna carve my last part and most fun of my teenage life before i step into the society and work..
The more i yearn for a happy family, the worst its gonna get. I really hate this ancient Asia culture that my parents enforced into the family... all i want is just a simple family and parents that i can confide in, asking them what i can do giving me advices when i needed them.
My dad throws wrappers of eaten biscuit on the chair, with all the bits and pieces all over the place , and he just walks off without cleaning them up to his room and sleep. I tried not to dislike my dad for stuffs like this, i know he loves and care for the family. i Recall how he used to buy toys and ice cream for me when ever i wanted, its always these memories keeping me from disliking him and all his other flaws.
My dad have hypertension B .. Diabetes... he is not suppose to drink beers, and eat sweet stuffs, BUT aparantly he is totally not giving a dam about these problem he have.
He drink beer everyday, Eat some sweet stuff everyday, at first i pretend to just close one eye, when i see him drinking beer.. or eating fruits like apple or oranges just to quench his crave for sweet stuff.
Then the first nightmare happened, 2nd relapse of his liver hardening, he appears to be afraid.. ok, after sometime hes cured of the liver hardening. The doctor said he was lucky... 2nd relapse is like 60% chance of recovery.. and if it happens the third time, its really difficult to say. Liver hardening leads to liver cancer.. and so long.. chain of problems that will happen and not to mention that he have diabetes.
Recently he is doing alot of leg therapy on his own, i know he is trying to hide the fact that he is starting to feel numb on his legs. Every night i see his applying these chinese medication oil .. and doing the electro therapy thing for his legs to stimulate blood flow.
But, he is still drinking and eating sweet stuffs when he is not supposed to. its not like i didn't tell him not to, i explained to him why he should not drink, but very often i just get a scolding from him saying that i am annoying and being noisy. its getting worst now , he buys 2 - 3 cans of beer in the fridge.. and drink 1 can everyday? i don't freaking like beers so i didn't drink it on behalf of him. And i don't want to turn myself into a acholic because of him.
It really makes me wonder if he still loves the family or not, wasting his life away like this. i know mum loves him alot, i cant imagine if the liver hardening happens for the 3rd time and he didn't make it through. do he even really have the thought of the family when he drink with his friends in the coffee shop... Sigh.. and i am going into the army soon... i can only pray that he will be fine and he knows when to stop ...
Dad, i know i love you but i really cant bring it to my mouth and say it. Our family is just brought up this way, i just hope you can be the kind of dad i wanted ... A role model, someone whom i can learn things from and i can put them into good use next time in my life up holding the thought that my dad thought me these... but you are not showing me any of these..
i am feeling so jealous.. lol.
8:36 AM
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Name: Robin AKA Kiddo Age: 3 years old Birthday: 3rd November! Gender:Unknown
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